Sometimes, the decision to choose a pet over a partner isn’t just a whimsical one—it’s a decision rooted in values, compatibility, and a deep sense of responsibility. My experience with Zoe, an 85-pound deaf American bulldog with two different-colored eyes, gave me a clear understanding of this choice. Zoe wasn’t just a dog; she was my companion, and when faced with the choice of a partner or a pet, I found myself choosing her.

The Unexpected Connection

When I first met Zoe at a Los Angeles rescue, I instantly knew she was the one. Her pumpkin-shaped head in my rearview mirror as we drove away felt like a moment of destiny. I had found someone I didn’t even realize I was searching for. But when my then boyfriend, Jax, met Zoe, it was a different story. He was terrified and said, “We can’t keep her.” Despite Zoe’s calm and gentle demeanor, Jax’s traumatic past led him to view certain breeds of dogs as dangerous, and he couldn’t get past his fears.

A Difficult Decision

Over time, it became clear that Zoe would never be welcome in our shared home. Jax was not able to make room for her in his life, and I was devastated. I had to return Zoe to the rescue, sobbing as I drove her away. “If she ends up with no place to go, call me,” I begged the rescue manager. I wasn’t ready to give up on Zoe, but my living situation made it impossible to keep her.

Credits: Kinship

Our relationship quickly fell apart. Jax and I were too different, and it was clear we had incompatible lifestyles. He preferred cleanliness and order; I needed creative freedom and mess. I realized that I couldn’t sacrifice my independence, and that included caring for a pet. The decision to break up felt right.

Reuniting with Zoe

After months of searching, I found a new place where Zoe would be welcome. I immediately contacted the rescue, and to my relief, Zoe was still available. I signed the adoption papers and brought her home. This time, there was no hesitation. She was mine, and I was hers.

When Zoe met Mike, my kind and patient neighbor, I feared she’d be territorial. But instead of attacking, she greeted him with a gentle “canine hug,” placing her front paws on his shoulders. It was a beautiful moment that reassured me I’d made the right choice.

Finding Love in Unexpected Places

Two years later, Mike and I got married on the very steps where we first met, with Zoe by our side. Our wedding party included Mike’s parrot, Wombley, and our dear friend’s senior beagle, Eunice Petunia. That day, when Eunice arrived in her pink stroller with our wedding rings strapped to her back, I couldn’t hold back tears.

Credits: Huff post

Zoe’s presence in my life had led me to a partnership built on understanding, respect, and a shared love for our furry friends.

Pets and Relationships: When They Become Dealbreakers

My story is far from unique. Many people find themselves choosing a pet over a partner, especially when that pet is a deeply loved part of their life. Ashley, a school principal from Oklahoma, experienced a similar situation when her partner insisted that her two large dogs be kept off the bed. The disagreement over her responsibility toward her pets was the final straw. She couldn’t compromise on their care, so she ended the relationship.

Credits: Healthline

Jeanne Cross, a licensed therapist, explained that conflicts over pet care and responsibilities can lead to breakups, especially if one partner is more invested in the pet than the other. In some cases, pets even provide the courage to leave a harmful relationship, as seen with T., a woman who escaped an abusive relationship after rescuing a dog.

Choosing a Pet With Care

Choosing a pet over a partner can be the right decision—especially when it’s made with love and care. Relationship experts agree that the choice to prioritize a pet’s well-being over a partner’s request often comes from a place of compassion and responsibility. However, they caution against using pets as pawns in an argument, as this can harm everyone involved.

Ultimately, pets are family, and sometimes they are the most loving, supportive companions we can have. For many, choosing a pet over a partner means honoring what truly matters—loyalty, compassion, and the shared bond between human and animal.

A New Beginning

For Ashley and me, the choice to prioritize our pets over our relationships has shaped our future in profound ways. We learned that a partner who values the things we care about—whether it’s our pets, our lifestyle, or our freedom—is the one who deserves to be by our side. And for both of us, that person also had to love our pets as much as we do.