Grandmother, 90, Embraces Her Truth After 63 Years in a ‘Lavender Marriage’
In an inspiring story of love, resilience, and self-discovery, 90-year-old Elida has captivated social media by sharing how she is now “living her truth” after 63 years in a lavender marriage.
Elida’s journey to authenticity gained viral fame when her granddaughter, Christian Owens, shared their story on TikTok. The video touched millions, shedding light on an arrangement that allowed Elida and her late husband, Donald, to navigate life in a world less accepting of LGBTQ+ identities.
@faultywiring0709 Welcome home grandma #foryou #TikTokPartner #pridetiktok #women #womenempowerment #fyp #lgbt #grandmas #grandmasoftiktok
A Love Rooted in Friendship
Elida, who emigrated from Colombia to Los Angeles at age 18, met Donald at a West Hollywood nightclub, a vibrant hub for the LGBTQ+ community. The two formed a deep connection and decided to marry to protect themselves from societal discrimination.
“With my grandmother being an immigrant and my grandfather living in Hollywood where it wasn’t accepted, they said, ‘Why don’t we get married?’” Owens explained.
The marriage was based on mutual respect, companionship, and understanding. Elida and Donald maintained a public facade of a conventional marriage while privately acknowledging their true selves. They even allowed each other the freedom to date outside their union, adhering to agreed-upon boundaries.
“My grandfather worshipped the ground she walked on,” Owens fondly recalls. “He did everything for her—opened doors, paid bills, and even became a stay-at-home dad so she could pursue her dreams.”
@faultywiring0709 I am so truly blessed. #fyp #TikTokPartner #pridetiktok #lgbt #lavendermarriage
Coming Out at 90
Donald passed away in July 2021, and it was after his death that Elida revealed to her family that she is attracted to women. “At least I get to live mine now,” she told her family during a heartfelt conversation.
“Being able to live as my true self now means more to me than freedom—it is freedom,” Elida shared with PEOPLE. “I loved my husband so much, but not being able to be our true selves felt like being in a prison.”
With her family’s full support, Elida is embracing this new chapter. “This would be a good time to post your video about being gay,” Owens jokingly told her grandmother, “and then I can get you a girlfriend.”
What Is a Lavender Marriage?
For those unfamiliar with the term, a lavender marriage refers to a marriage between a man and a woman intended to conceal one or both partners’ sexual orientation. These arrangements often served as a shield against societal judgment during times of widespread discrimination.
Elida and Donald’s marriage embodied mutual respect and shared goals, allowing them to navigate societal pressures while supporting each other’s personal freedoms.
Interestingly, lavender marriages are gaining renewed attention among younger generations. According to Business Insider, some are adopting this model to address financial pressures, avoid traditional dating norms, and embrace companionship.
TikTok Sparks a Community Conversation
Owens’ TikTok post resonated widely, inspiring viewers to share their own experiences.
“11 years into my lavender marriage and six kids later lol we will see what life brings us,” one commenter wrote.
@faultywiring0709 Yep, she’s an OG. #fyp #TikTokPartner #pridetiktok #lgbt #women #womenempowerment #womensrightsmatter #lgbt🌈 #grandmasoftiktok #grandma #lavendermarriage
Another shared: “Dating my husband, he told me he got ‘engaged’ when he was in the Navy to his friend Carol to get her out of trouble. That’s when I knew he was the one.”
For Owens, her grandmother’s journey reinforces a powerful lesson: “It’s never too late to love who you love, and there’s nothing wrong with loving who you love.”
A New Chapter of Love and Freedom
Elida’s story is a poignant reminder that authenticity and self-acceptance are lifelong pursuits. As she embraces her truth, she’s inspiring not only her family but also millions around the world.
We wish Elida nothing but joy and fulfillment in this new chapter of her life.
Featured Image Credit: Kathleen Finlay / Getty
